The U.S.S. Harry M. Reid begins a debate with rival Sue Lowden

The campaign of U.S. Sen. Harry Reid has developed advanced phaser technology, and has confirmed a willingness to use it, according to a story today in Politico. To wit:

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is prepared to run a sharply negative campaign if that’s what it takes to win reelection next year, with a top adviser predicting that the Nevada Democrat will “vaporize” his Republican challengers with attack ads.

…

“I expect him to vaporize [former Nevada Republican Party Chairwoman Sue] Lowden or [famous basketball coach's son Danny] Tarkanian or whoever is the opponent,” said a Reid adviser, speaking on the condition of anonymity in order to discuss campaign strategy.

It’s not clear how Reid or his campaign acquired phaser technology, since it won’t be invented until at least the year 2233. The weapons can be set to stun, but on their highest settings, they can literally vaporize matter. Apparently Reid has decided to skip the lower settings and go directly to the top.

Lowden responded with the appropriate fear later this morning. Her reply:

“Nevadans have tired of Harry Reid’s angry, vindictive threats — but today’s threat is one that must be taken seriously. After all, Senator Reid has shown remarkable skill in vaporizing Nevada jobs, Nevada homeowners, Nevada tax dollars, our seniors’ access to a solvent Medicare program and our residents’ private health care choices.”

No, no, no! Lowden needs to learn how to play politics Reid’s way: When your opponent threatens to vaporize you, the proper response is to raise your shields! Duh! How does Lowden ever expect to win this race if she doesn’t understand directed-energy weapons and the means to combat them? Seriously, people, get with the program! What happens when Reid moves up to photon torpedoes, huh? What are you going to do then?