The right honourable British science journal Nature published online today something right awesome: new research from archaeologists at the University of Tubingen, Germany indicating that this tiny little bone-carved flute thing:

… more than likely played a pivotal role in helping modern humans (us) prevail over our Neanderthal competitors (them) back in the day. How? By facilitating early community bonding through musical tradition. They say the flute dates back to a time when wandering, modern-issue humans were colonizing what would later become Europe — at least 35,000 years ago. That’s nearly 37,000 years before Jethro Tull. What’s more, the 8.5-inch flute — hewn from griffon vulture bone and featuring multiple finger holes, methodically cut and polished for better tones — was found in the same Hohle Fels cave as, and only 28 inches from, this tiny sexy lady sculpture (front and side views) dated to about the same time:

See what was happening? That’s just it — a “happening”. One longhaired, freethinking caveman sat, carved, and eventually busted mad, free-form melodies on a bone flute while the guy next to him patiently knifed (or sharp-rocked) out a hippy, buxom, conveniently headless abstract nude, no doubt modeled after the unshaven cavewoman lying in the firelight nearby and poking intently at the coals to hide her raging indecision over who was hotter, Akkaa the Bird Sound Maker or Kaaak the Rock Life Giver. Are we not gazing back 40,000 years into the very moments before this proto-chick would realize Kaaak was the winner, if only because polite, handwringing Akkaa would never get around to manning up and grinding on her publicly to show his interest, like the shy guys still never do at multimedia art happenings and MGM’s Tabu ultralounge?

The more things change…