We have no idea whether Amazingly lifelike MormonBot Donny Osmond has any gay fans (we hear many of them favor Cher and Madonna), so it might be that little Donny has avoided, until now, any boycotts over his opposition to gay marriage. All we know is, in researching our coverage of the fallout from Proposition 8, Donny’s name never came up.

But on his new website, when Donny the Teeth isn’t toasting his miraculously recaptured God-given success, he’s waxing ignorant on a host of religious and social topics.

Click his My Beliefs tab (I know, I thought it was a joke, too) and then scroll down to the Questions And (!) Answers section. You’ll be able to find the section quickly, just look for the thumbnail of the half-naked, white (of course) marble hippie.

Somewhere in there after Donny Shares His Testimony … and the apparently earnest Grace and Faith Without Works, you’ll find Donny’s expert opinion (here, actually) on sexual orientation and why it’s sinful to allow those with various “tendencies” the same social and legal rights (and rites) as other Americans.

First, he quotes the official Mormon doctrine which basically warns that gay sex is so onerous to all of creation that the Earth will open up and swallow any civilization that condones it.

Then, the money quote: “We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.”

But just so you don’t think Donny is a homophobe or anything Donny attempts to soften the blow with, “There are many gay individuals that are members of our church. I know many of them. In fact, some of my best friends are gay. You ask how I react regarding their marriages. Well, I do support our Church leaders who say that we can accept those with gay tendencies in our church as long as they do not act upon their temptations … ” (This is very much akin to how a closet racist will say “Look, a lot of my friends are black, but … “ before launching into a joke that mocks the very people he claims to respect.)

Finally, he drops the following, “Whether we may be tempted to be immoral with members of our own sex or of the opposite sex, we are expected to live chaste lives. This is very well explained not only in the Book of Mormon, but in the Bible as well.”

So, there you have it. Now you know where he stands. You know, all you gay and lesbian fans of Donny Osmond. Both of you. Some boycott.

On a final note, we get that it’s probably bad for business for Donny and Marie & Co. to publicly embrace anything having to do with gay marriage (much less, gay sex). OK, Donny says the Book of Mormon and the Bible have a lot to say on the subject. Fine. But don’t both books also have pretty strong opinions on incest? How have the Osmonds worked around that one?

(H/t to Andrew Sulllivan)